Back to the Future II

Spoiler Alert:
The following Blog is likely to be lengthy, me pouring my thoughts out, possibly a bit confusing due to rambling, and could be a bit hard to follow.  So, in advance, I give no hard feelings to anyone who skips around or skims through... enjoy(;

January, what a dreadful month it is.  Christmas is over, resolutions are being made and broken, everyone still feels a bit groggy from all of the Holiday eating, and one begins to think about the F-word (future). England is still lovely and enjoyable, just a little less than at the beginning and when there's good weather.  This time of year is quite honestly a bit depressing here.  It constantly rains and sleets with lots of wind, it's cold, and nighttime begins around 4.  This means that people tend to stay inside more, which means less fresh air, activity, and so on.  Obviously this leads to one feeling slightly morose or down and gloomy.  This, is me. Don't get me wrong, I am still quite enjoying myself, and am having lots of fun, but there are those times where I just feel kinda sad, or lazy.  I am definitely looking forward to the arrival of spring!  We had a quick glimpse of spring the last couple of days where it was beautiful, slightly warm, and SUNNY until about 3.30!  It was excellent and cheered our moods(:

Now, for the tough stuff...Back to the Future.  Lately I've been thinking more and more about next year and what that means for me.  Unfortunately, I find myself, yet again, clueless.  I was heavily leaning towards Goshen for a couple of months, but then my mom brought up a point which had me very excited for a couple days, and I applied to the Culinary Institute of America.  (quickly...for those of you who may not know, I am a lover of baking, and watching cake shows and decorating cakes, cupcakes, etc.).  So there's those two schools I have on my plate to pick from.  Unfortunately it's kind-of like choosing between chocolate brownie mixed with chocolate cake and a smooth delicious cheese cake.  Both so tempting, but which is the better choice?  Also, I seem to have kept some 'cookies' in the background just for some extra options... because really, it's not like the decision is hard enough already, right?  << If you didn't catch that, the 'cookies' are other colleges I'm interested in, but we don't need to dive into that.

So. Goshen and CIA.  Both have many pros and cons.

Goshen:  It's mennonite, it has a swell comm. program, it's mennonite, it's cute, a degree would have wiggle room career wise, it's small, it has the college feel, oh and it's mennonite.  However, I have no future drawn up in my mind from there (career, etc.), it's small, small town, and typical.

CIA:  It's the 'Harvard of Culinary school,'  it's interesting, it's different, it's in New York,  I would have a picture-able future from the start, I would spend my time decorating and being cutsie.  However, it's not mennonite, it's not your 'typical' college experience, and there's not much wiggle room if I graduate and decide I don't want to be a baker.

^  Those are just a quick picture of all that's running around my mind currently.  It may seem early to start freaking out about the future, but with FAFSA, and scholarships, and Registration forms, it seems like the perfect time.  All of this is quite familiar though, because last year I was in this same position, unable to decide, frustrated, confused, just different schools (kind-of).  However, the indecisiveness lasted until May where I had to hurry up and decide.  Hence, my joining Radical Journey (in-part).  Unfortunately, I only have 6 months left <crazy I know!>  and I doubt my parent's would be too thrilled if I took another year off to dapple in my confusion.  So it looks like it's about time to make some tough decisions, and I'll state the obvious and say I'm not looking forward to making those decisions yet.

I'm still waiting, waiting for that sign that says 'Do this,'  waiting for that ah'ha moment, waiting for the answer to slap me in the face, waiting for someone to tell me what to do, waiting to just know.  So as I wrap this 'cheerful' blog up, I would welcome any advice from the peanut gallery, no matter who you are.  No worries, I'll be here, thinking and praying away for the answer too.







P.s.  If you didn't catch it, the title, Back to the Future II, is related to my being here, undecided, same feelings, again, for the second time, twice, dos..........Genious. I know(; hehehe